Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I bet you don’t know what day this is?”

“Of course I do,” he answered indignantly, as he slammed the door and then drove to his office. 

At 11 o’clock, the doorbell rang. The wife answered, and there at her front door was a UPS driver; in his hand was a box containing 12 red roses.  

Later, at 2 pm there was another knock at the door; this time it was a deluxe box of Belgian chocolates. 

Eventually the husband came home, tired after a hard day’s work. His wife greeted him by saying, “First the flowers, then the chocolates..., I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

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February Fathers

Three men were in a bar talking about their children.

“Our son was born on George Washington’s birthday,” remarked the first guy, “so we obviously decided to call him George.” 

“That’s a real coincidence,” observed the second man. “Our daughter was born on Valentine’s Day, so we decided to call her Valentine.” 

“That’s really incredible,” slurred the third man. “Exactly the same thing happened with my son Groundhog.” 

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Desperately Seeking Solace

A couple was having marital problems. With Valentine’s Day approaching, they decided to consult a marriage counselor. 

Several visits ensued where lots of questions were asked and lots of listening was done. Eventually the the counselor felt that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the women and, asking her to stand up, he gave her a big hug. 

He turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least once every day.” 

The husband frowned, considered what had been said for a moment, then replied, “OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?”